Thursday, January 4, 2018

An Inauspicious Start to 2018

I hate to be pessimistic but sometimes it can be therapeutic to write a list of everything that's not gone right, and boy have I got one since this new year started only a few days ago! 2018, what's up with you!?

-On New Year's Eve I took a nice relaxing bubble bath; usually I sleep really well when I do that before bed, but it didn't happen that night. I couldn't get to sleep but I was too tired to read, which is a frustrating combination. I ended up going downstairs and laid on the couch next to the lit-up Christmas tree, where I finally fell asleep. But it was a broken sleep, and I woke up with a sore neck, a slight headache, and I was so cold because I was wearing t-shirt pajamas, no socks, and I had only a light blanket and it got down to somewhere in the negative 20s or 30s that night, and in our high-ceilinged living room, that's chilly, even with the heat on. It wasn't quite the way I envisioned waking up to the new year.

-This relentless frigid cold weather isn't budging. And it's sunny too. My most-hated type of weather is sunny and cold. If it's going to be bitterly cold, at least throw some cloud cover in (I love cloudy weather, and today is actually cloudier than it is sunny, yay!). But the last several days have been sunny and below zero (sometimes way below zero) and it hurts to go outside. Plus I feel bad for all of the animals out there, as well as people who don't have a warm place to live. This weather is detestable!

-Speaking of which, and I know this is totally a first-world "problem," but I'm mad at myself for deciding not to go on a Caribbean cruise this week. It would have been the perfect week to do that. What was I thinking? If only I'd had a crystal ball earlier this year when we were planning our vacations.

-I had a big red ugly monstrous zit next to my nose, the kind where you can feel it under your skin for a few days before it erupts, and then boy is it ugly when it does. I don't break out that much anymore but my skin will still throw a big teenage tantrum every once in awhile, and it decided to do that for the new year. Thanks skin.

- My wonderful home alone staycation came to an end. Peter and the boys went on their annual father-son trip to Wisconsin Dells after Christmas, leaving me home alone for six wonderful, peaceful days in which I had total control of my schedule and what I did or didn't do. I missed them and was glad when they came home, but I'm nostalgic for my alone time too. I truly excel at being a hermit.   

-I figured out that our cat Bentwood probably has fleas. Fleas! Our pets have never had them. I think he got it when we boarded him in November while we were on vacation, and we're just finding out now. 

-Un-decking the halls is not fun.

-Post-holiday blues are real. 

-In the early morning hours of Wednesday I was up twice during the night because John suddenly got sick and was throwing up. He was sick all yesterday with a stomach bug. I nearly threw up myself when I had to clean up the vomit in his room, which has to be one of the most disgusting tasks ever. I'm hoping and praying that none of the rest of us gets sick. Thankfully he's better today so it must have been a 24-hour bug. Good thing because he has a big gymnastics meet this weekend that he's been looking forward to competing in. 

-Our wonderful prophet and leader President Monson passed away on Tuesday night, which made me burst into tears when I found out. I'm going to miss him.

-I bought a big bag of bird food yesterday and when I brought it inside and plopped it on the floor, it split open! It was such a pain to clean up (although not gross like the other clean-up task I had to yesterday). 

-I'm jealous of the big winter storm the East Coast is getting today. I know it's probably misguided of me, but I miss those storms. I think they're exciting as long as you don't have to go out in them. I hope we get at least one big storm here in Iowa this winter (as long as it happens on a convenient day and doesn't make us lose power. Ha ha.)

-Today is Peter's last day at Transamerica. I'm really sad about this. Life transitions have always been hard for me and this is a big one. He's excited to start a new job with a new company this month, and I'm happy for him, but my anxiety is high about how this will change our lives, including a probable move this summer. I don't like changes, and these ones are huge, and so this new year is a scary one for me to face. It's really disconcerting when you can't even envision where you'll be in a few months and you just want to be in your cozy home and community that you know and love and not have anything change, ever.  

So all in all, I'm not feeling terribly excited about this new year. I still have so much more to be grateful for than to grumble about, and I'm a naturally optimistic person, but the last few days have been tough. I wish I could hibernate for the rest of the winter, and maybe for the rest of the year too!